Let’s Be Grown Up and Throw Coins at Frank Lampard

If Frank Lampard stayed at West Ham, he might’ve ended up looking like this:


Yes that’s right, he would have dreadful teeth, a square jaw and look absolutely terrible, as terrible as my photo manipulation skills. He would probably still be fat though, the lure of multiple fried chicken shops would have been too great for him in the salubrious surroundings of Upton Park.

In football, more often than not it seems when a player or manager leaves a club for (more often than not) better things, fans wish for them to royally fuck it up. And if they don’t, they’re hated even more. Even after 11 years there is a group of West Ham fans who haven’t recovered from Frank’s departure; he really has done well and that shouldn’t be allowed. He should have stayed at West Ham and gone through all the shit the fans have over the last decade. He said some things that ‘upset’ the Hammers fans so let’s be horrible to him forever. I have a 5 year old kid who has more emotional resilience than that! Bottom line, we never truly know what has gone on between clubs and players, only a handful of people are ever involved in contract negotiations and meetings so all the things we hear are second hand. Like in any relationship break-up, people say things that hurt and that’s life, damned if you do, damned if you don’t.

Shitty fan behaviour is beyond a joke at times, I have seen stewards being abused for merely trying to keep the crowd safe, I’ve been shoved and crushed into a stand because hundreds of dumb arse fans refused to sit in their seats, keeping about 50 of us holed up in a gangway. I’ve seen kids shoved about by big men who are late into the stadium (tanked up from the pub) and think they should get to their seats first. I’ve watched games where I’m surround by shouts of “referee, cunt, fucking cunt, I’ll do you” and so on. So much shouting there is no way they could ever understand anything that is going on in the game. But they probably go to football matches for a completely different reason than I do.

Obviously, this minority type of fan needs to behave like a moron on match day. They couldn’t get away with serially abusing low-paid workers in a shopping centre or throwing coins at people in the street. So they do it in the ground, then boast about it in the pub afterwards.

I love football so much it takes up a serious amount of my daily thought and conversation, and I do get very cross with the way some fans behave, I can’t ignore it just because I’m nothing like them, I won’t shut it out because it needs to change.

Ban the idiots where you can, cause if they love football so much that will hit them hard. Those 90 minutes are a real escape for us all, it means something different to all of us but nobody likes a complete c&*t, in or out of the stadium.